My Unhappy Birthday
by Dr.E. Vance
Summary: It's Dr. Cox's birthday and despite warnings, JD throws him a surprise birthday party. Last chapter added - COMPLETE!
1. Uncelebrated and unappreciated

_**Alright – here we go. My fourth attempt. This better work. Here I go. **_

**_Disclaimer – I do not own the characters or the show. Or the birthday song._**

**Plain bold is JD's thoughts since the italics was used for flashback.**

PaRt oNe

Dr. Cox was in a bad mood. Well, okay didn't he always seem to be in a bad mood? He hated Mondays, but he hated this one especially. Because today – this Monday was his birthday.

Dr. Cox had stopped celebrating his birthday years ago. Whenever anyone would ask him why he would just say that it wasn't important. But he had his reason. The day he stopped caring about his birthday was the day his parents forgot.

_Flashback_

_He was 16 years old. The alarm clock rang on his bedside table and he immediately sat up knowing exactly what day it was. Jumping out of bed he ran down to the kitchen not bothering to get dressed. This was one of the only days when he was happy. _

_But when he got to the kitchen, instead of seeing his family waiting for him with presents there was nothing. It was empty. Sliding on the linoleum floor, he stopped short. Nobody was there. He waited in the kitchen until his mother came down._

"_Hey sweetie? Why you up so early?" she shuffled in. He was about to answer but the phone rang. His mother was on it until he left for school. That night, he decided that if his own family forgot his birthday that it wasn't that important._

_end flashback_

Now here he was, doing his job acting like today was just any other Monday. Outside, he pretended like nothing was wrong.

But inside he hurt.

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JD strolled down the hallways. He was in a good mood. He loved Mondays. He was just leaving a patients room. Approaching the desk, he spotted Dr. Cox sulking in a chair off in the corner. JD turned to Carla who just came up behind him.

"Why's he in such a bad mood?"

"As apposed to what?" Carla laughed but then motioned for JD to lean in closer. "Today's his birthday." She whispered.

"Why're we whispering?" JD whispered back.

"He doesn't like anyone to know."

"Why?"

"That's not important. Just don't bring it up to him or he'll get really angry." After a minute or two of silence, JD turned to Carla again.

"What are Dr. Cox's favorite foods?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Fine, I'll ask someone else."

"Like who?"

"Him." JD straightened his back and nodded. Carla rolled her eyes and walked away wishing him a silent good luck.

**Wait a minute. What the hell am I doing? He'll never tell me! Well, I'm in this now. Might as well go.**

"Hey Dr. Cox!" he sat down next to him.

"What do you want Sheila? Don't you have a job to do?"

"Well, you're just sitting here. I thought I was allowed."

**Damn. Bad idea JD.**

Dr. Cox turned and faced JD, his eyes squinting hard – his lips a thin twisted into a crooked smile.

"Well, excuse me Shirley. I didn't know you took my advice so readily. Again – what do you want Newbie?"

**It's now or never. Here we go.**

"Do you have any favorite foods?"

"Well, that's interesting. As a matter of fact I do. And what is the reason for this childish question Erica?" Dr. Cox leaned in a little. JD played with his fingers in his lap.

"Just wanted to know."

"You're not planning to throw me a party for no reason are you?" Dr. Cox asked trying not to let on that today was any different than any other day.

**Ah, yes.**

"Ah, no. Just want to know what my mentor likes." JD smiled. Dr. Cox slapped his forehead and shook his had, sighing exasperated.

"I am not your. . . if I tell you will you go away?"

"Sure."

"I like mashed potatoes and peanut M&Ms. There. Happy now? Now scat Diana I have work to do." Dr. Cox stood up at the same time a JD. JD might as well have gone skipping down the hall.

"I really hope he isn't planning a surprise birthday party for me." Dr. Cox crossed his arms and marched off.

**I can't wait to throw a surprise birthday party for him. **JD thought as he made his way towards the cafeteria.

**_They'll be more. The only reason that I made those foods be Dr. Cox's favorites is because those are my favorite foods and he's my favorite character. If you review there will be more! _**


	2. Was that supposed to happen?

_**Sigh. Here I am posting a new chapter with hardly an reviews. Why do I bother? Who knows. Enjoy whoever is actually reading this. **_

It took some bribing and promises for a date, but JD managed to get the cafeteria workers to make him some mashed potatoes. Now all he had to do was figure out how to get out of the hospital to get balloons and peanut M&Ms. He also had to convince everyone – well, maybe not everyone – to help.

He walked down the hallway pretending to be busy but the whole time he was scheming a way to get out for a few minutes without getting caught. So far he had nothing. He turned the corner and was face to face with the Janitor.

**Crap.**

"What are you staring at?"

"Um, you?"

"Funny. What are you doing down here?"

"What are you doing down here?" JD shot back and then mentally slapped himself. He was just setting himself up for this wasn't he?

"Hm, maybe my job? Doesn't look like you're doing yours though. I could get you in trouble for that you know."

JD decided not to respond to that so as not to make the Janitor start with the whole 'I'm – not – important – is – that – it' speech.

" So you think I'm so unimportant that you can't even talk to me huh?" The Janitor furrowed his brows. JD just walked away.

**I bet nobody would miss him if he went away for . . . hold on!**

JD paused and turned around facing the Janitor. The Janitor looked up again.

"What?"

"Could you do me a favor . . .?"

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JD strolled down the hallway content with himself. Everything was going as planned. The decorations were set, the food was ready, and everyone was hiding in the lounge to surprise him. Now all they needed was Dr. Cox.

JD was in charge of getting Dr. Cox to come to the lounge and just in case it didn't work, Elliot was waiting to try. He hoped it didn't mess up with her. Finding Dr. Cox at the front desk he continued strolling, trying his best to pretend nothing was going on.

He sidled up next to Dr. Cox but before he could say anything, Dr. Cox turned to JD.

"Whatever it is, not now Emily. I'm busy and I don't have time for your childness." And then he walked away. JD stomped his foot.

**Damn! Is 'childness' even a word? Not important!**

JD saw Elliot peeking around a corner and he shook his head. She nodded and scampered off. He hoped this worked or they were screwed. He hoped even more that Dr. Kelso didn't find out about this. They would be double screwed then.

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Elliot caught up to Dr. Cox. It took him a minute to notice her there. He moaned and tried to walk faster but the hallways were too crowded.

"Not you too Barbie! What is it with you guys today! Why can't you just leave me alone!" he complained begging inside that this wasn't some lame attempt to get him to a surprise party.

"I need your help with something somewhere."

"Not too vague are we there? I'm very busy with patients. Go do. . . whatever you do." He tried walking fast again but ended up in nearly knocking someone over.

"If you have patients, where are your charts?" Elliot pointed out. Dr. Cox sighed again and stopped walking.

"You caught me Barbie. Now what is it? Make it snappy, I plan on being busy at some point on the near future."

Elliot was trying to think of something to say. She never thought she would get this far.

"Um. . ."

"Don't think too hard now, it doesn't suit you."

"Carla got sick in the lounge and I thought she was just sick but she passed out!" she said all in one breath. Elliot hoped he would believe her.

"Why didn't you come sooner? I swear you guys are so. . ." he mumbled as he ran off towards the lounge with Elliot next to him.

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Meanwhile inside the room, Carla adjusted her position behind the couch she was hiding behind with Turk.

"I swear if I find where JD is hiding I'll kill him for making me sit like this."

"Aww, this is going to be fun baby! Relax." Turk smiled. Carla shook her head.

"I told him that Cox won't like this. He didn't listen." Suddenly the room was filled with shushing as the sound of running footsteps got closer. The door swung open with a loud bang, hitting The Todd square in the face. The light flicked on.

"SURPISE!" they all jumped out and yelled. Dr. Cox took in the sight of the decorated room, everyone smiling at him, and his favorite foods on a table and fainted. Everyone fell silent as they stared at Dr. Cox on the floor.

"Hey, he fainted!" Ted pointed.

"No shit!" a voice called out from the back of the room.

_**Hello? Anyone out there:calls into the black abyss: Oh, well. Maybe there will be someone tomorrow. . . **_

**_Chapter 3 is coming by the way. _**


	3. Whoops, there goes the cake!

_**This chapter is a little short, I know. But I was struggling with writers block on a different story and it followed me to this one. :sniff:. **_

**Chapter numero tres **

Dr. Cox blinked as he opened his eyes. The light was shining right in his face and it was annoying. He heard the mumbling of voices around him a suddenly a face appeared right in his.

"Jesus. . .!" Dr. Cox was startled and he struggled to pull himself into an upright position. J.D. pulled away and Dr. Cox saw everyone staring at him. "What the hell. . ." Dr. Cox rubbed the back of his neck.

Carla was about to make something up about what happened and why everyone was standing staring, but J.D. jumped in.

"We were throwing you a surprise birthday party and we jumped out and yelled surprise. . . but. . . well. . . you kind of fainted." J.D. explained. Dr. Cox looked confused for a moment until finally grasping the situation.

"Look, Cheryl. I don't ever telling you when my birthday was and if I even had one. . ."

"But everyone has a. . ." Elliot was about to argue, but Dr. Cox ignored her and continued.

"I repeat, I don't ever remember telling you – or anybody - about my birthday so I want to know what the hell this is all about." Dr. Cox arose from the couch crossing his arms immediately. J.D. was crushed. He had thought that Dr. Cox would like it and maybe appreciate him more.

"But I . . ." J.D. tried.

"I don't care what you think Newbie. Obviously since I didn't tell you about this I don't do birthdays. I swear you're as bad as Barbie sometimes. Now, I have patients to take care of and so do all of you idiot insults to medicine." Dr. Cox began to make his way to the door. Finally reaching it, he opened the door and was about to walk out when he heard J.D, whisper something. "What?" he turned.

"I said I got you a cake." He pointed to a beautiful cake resting unsteadily on an already broken table. Dr. Cox stared at it. I looked to be vanilla and if he was right it was his favorite kind. Ice cream cake.

"Well good for you Kathryn. You've just wasted an hour of everyone's time and made everyone suffer a loss in their paychecks. I hope you're happy about the extra hours they'll have to put in."

Dr. Cox turned and slammed the door hard. The loud noise shook the table and the cake fell to the floor upside down with a SPLAT. One by one, everybody filed out of the lounge saying sorry to J.D. – that it wasn't his fault. J.D. wasn't listening though. He just stared at the ruined cake on the floor.

Elliot and Turk were finally the last one's left and they approached J.D. carefully.

"Yo, man. You okay?" Turk asked a little worried. After getting no response, Elliot placed her hand on J.D.'s back.

"John? Everyone's gone now." She tried to search for his face. A tear rolled down J.D.'s cheek as he finally moved. He walked over to the cake and bent down. He stared at it some more until he finally grabbed a plate from the table and picked up a piece that hadn't touched the floor as much. Putting the piece on the plate he stood up, took a fork and walked out the door.

"J.D.?" Elliot called after him.

"_What are you. . ."_ they heard coming from a patient's room down the hall. Elliot and Turk looked at each other.

"Uh oh." Turk said as they ran out of the room together.

**_I was considering stopping it there, but I might not. It's just a thought. If anyone out there is reading it. . . I want you to enjoy. REVIEW! _**


	4. Mashed potato, M&M food fight!

_**I've gotten people asking me to do more but this will probably the last chapter. . . or not. We'll see how things go. **_

Dr. Cox found himself back in the lounge wiping cake off his face. JD was sitting next to him, but not too close trying not to look too pleased with himself.

"You know Barbara, if you wanted to shove cake down my throat you could have at least waited until I was alone." Dr. Cox picked a cookie crumb out from his teeth.

**You should be happy I didn't shove it up your. . . **

But JD's fantasy was interrupted by Carla throwing open the door. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly, as she took one look at Dr. Cox.

"You know you have cake. . ."

"Yes. Thank you for the information. I don't think I would have ever notice the cold vanilla ice cream down the front of my shirt." Dr. Cox grumbled, pulling off his coat. "What did you want?"

"Well, there is a patient here but I see you're very busy so. . . I'll leave you." Carla walked out and they could all hear her laughing.

"That's my baby!" Turk smiled but saw everyone staring at him and shrugged.

"This is great! Now what! I can't go walking around like this!"

"You could. . ." JD turned to Dr. Cox.

"No!"

"How did you know what I was going to say!"

"Because I'm special!" Dr. Cox sarcastically remarked.

"Yeah. . . well. . . what was I going to say?" JD sounded childish.

"Oh, I'm not going to do this!" Dr. Cox stood up and was about to cross his arms but remembered his cake covered shirt and decided not to.

"Yeah, what was he going to say hot – shot!" Elliot chimed in.

"What the. . . 'hot – shot'? You're kidding right, Barbie? This is stupid!" Dr. Cox looked from JD to Elliot, his eyes finally settling on Turk.

"Come on Dr. Cox! If you're so special, what was he going to say!"

"Jesus Chir. . . look. If I tell you, will you shut up!" They all nodded and Dr. Cox continued. "He was going to ask me one of two things or possibly both. He was going to ask me either a) if I wanted to borrow one of his cootie shirts or b) if I wanted to accompany him to his dwelling of tragedy to get cleaned up!" He finished slightly cocking his head to one side.

**Damn. He's right.**

"Yeah. . . so? I don't care!" JD protested, unable to think of a good retort.

"You know I'm right! Admit it Veronica! You know it!" Dr. Cox pointed a menacing finger at JD. "I'm always right and you know it princess!" he kept yelling and Elliot could tell JD didn't like it. She wanted to help.

That's when she noticed the mashed potatoes.

Dr. Cox didn't feel it at first, but after a minute or two he felt it seep into his shirt. Slowly turning he stared from Turk to Elliot. Elliot tried to hold the offending hand behind her back, but she was too slow.

"You did not just throw that at me Barbie!"

"Um. . . well. . . I. . ." Elliot tried to find the perfect excuse.

"That's it. I've had enough." Dr. Cox marched over to Elliot.

"What are you going to do?" Elliot feared the worst.

"Something I should've done a long time ago." Dr. Cox picked up a small bowl of mashed potatoes and dumped it all over Elliot's head. A couple of minutes later, mashed potatoes were flying everywhere and even some M&M's (which Dr. Cox was trying to save. Who would let such good food go to waste?).

Suddenly the door flung open and there stood Kelso. JD made the mistake of throwing a huge glob of mashed potatoes. Dr. Cox made the mistake of dodging it. Turk made the mistake of laughing when it hit Kelso smack in the face. Elliot stood with deer - in - the - headlight eyes.

"PERRY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE! IN MY OFFICE NOW!" Kelso yelled. The room fell completely silent except for the occasional plop of potato hitting the floor. JD, Turk, and Elliot turned to face Dr. Cox who cleared his throat and put his arm down.

**_I guess I'm going to have to write another chapter after all! Special thanks to _**mugglewolf **_for the M&M's but I'm afraid I don't like any kind of soda so that's out for me! _**


	5. Not so unhappy after all

_**Sorry I took awhile to update. I've been busy. . . not true. I just haven't felt like writing. I get bored quickly. This is the last chapter, I swear! I'll be changing rooms a lot a some point so I indicated when the "scene" changes for you!**_

Kelso slammed his office door closed as soon as Dr. Cox was inside. JD, Elliot, and Turk – disregarding that they were still covered in mashed potatoes and everyone was giving them funny looks – tried to listen in through the door.

Inside Kelso's Office – 

"What were you trying to pull in there Perry!" Kelso barked.

"I wasn't pulling. I was throwing." Dr. Cox remarked not flinching at the dirty look he'd just received.

"I don't have time for your games! Unless you can give me a good reason why you were throwing mashed potatoes I'm going to suspend you!" Kelso finally picked up a bunch of tissues and began wiping his face.

"I hate to sound like the tattletale little kid Bob-o, but if you took the time to notice, which I doubt you did, I was not the only one throwing the food." Dr. Cox pointed out.

"I don't care if King Kong and Godzilla were doing it! You were the one who threw the potatoes at my face! Therefore you are suspended!"

Outside the office at the same time – 

"What'd he say! What'd he say!" JD sounded like a giddy school girl reading a love note.

"Yeah!" Elliot agreed.

"Be quiet and let me listen!" Turk shushed them and put his ear back on the door.

Back in Kelso's office – 

"Fine then – how long?"

"How long what?" Kelso had sat down. He looked up at Dr. Cox as if he was confused as to why he was still standing there. Dr. Cox realized that this could be good.

"How. . . much longer I have to stand in this dump."

"Oh. Go away." Kelso waved him off. Dr. Cox began to pull open the door. The three outside moved away. "Oh, by the way Perry." Kelso called out. Dr. Cox turned around.

"What?"

"Happy Birthday!" he smiled. Dr. Cox walked out and the trio immediately started following.

**Dr. Cox looks like he's just seen Kelso. . . naked. (JD imagines opening the door to Kelso's office, looking in, and screams).**

"You look like you just walked in on Kelso naked!" Turk commented.

**I love it when Turk reads my mind. It's cool. **

"Worse. He wished me a happy birthday and . . . smiled." Dr. Cox looked like it was painful to say those words.

"Oh, wow." Was all Elliot said. "Poor thing."

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Dr. Cox threw on his jacket and marched out into the night air. His shift was finally over. Now he got to go home and get out of his soggy clothes. He had to admit, today wasn't awful. Deep down inside he missed celebrating his birthday. But he wouldn't let anyone know that.

He spied JD making his way towards him and Dr. Cox sighed and started making his way towards his car hoping to make a quick getaway. No such luck. He almost made it.

"Dr. Cox! Hey!" JD called out finally reaching Dr. Cox's car.

"What is it?"

"Just wanted to. . . I don't know. . ."

"wish me happy birthday one more time and you won't have little JD's from your left testicle."

**Can he do that? (JD imagines lying on a bed with no pants on. Dr. Cox appears above him and smiles pulling the chain in a chainsaw. It whirrs as it gets nearer and nearer. . .)**

JD's thought was interrupted by Dr. Cox snapping his fingers in front of JD's face.

"Oh, what? Yeah. Wanted to say. . . goodbye."

"Now wasn't that easy?" Dr. Cox opened his car door.

"Today wasn't so bad was it Dr. Cox?" JD asked. Dr. Cox stared at him. He thought about lying but changed his mind.

"It was alright, JD. Besides getting covered in cold mashed potatoes and getting ice cream shoved down my throat." They both laughed but it was an uncomfortable, space filler laugh. JD finally noticed something.

"Did you call me JD?" he asked. Dr. Cox bit his tongue. Crap! What name rhymed with JD?

"No, I said 'it was alright, Jamie.' You must still have mashed potato in your ears. Goodness knows what you normally have in there."

"Yeah." JD laughed and turned to walk away.

"Oh, by the way Newbie."

"Yeah?" JD turned back around.

"Don't do it again." Dr. Cox squinted his eyes.

"Okay. Never again."

"Good." Dr. Cox climbed in his car and started the engine. JD watched Dr. Cox leave and then turned and began walking back to the hospital. He laughed to himself while he was already planning for next year.

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_A birthday's a birthday_

_No matter whose it is._

_Some are just celebrated differently_

_Or not at all._

_I'd prefer to take the time_

_To celebrate another year older_

_Than stay the same age for the rest of my life._

_But then, that's just what I think. _

_Happy birthday. _

**_Aww. . . come on! You know I had to end it well! Please! Little quip at the end belongs to me! So there! REVIEW! _**


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